Steve talks about being here for the first time without Martin Short, turning eighty years old, how he feels about getting older, his new book Steve Martin Writes the Written Word, Florida banning his novella Shopgirl, ...Read More

Lenny Bruce on the Steve Allen Show April 5, 1959

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10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too ...Read More

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Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.

Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not ...Read More

St. Mom's Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory ...Read More

A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury.

"Why is the injury not covered?" he asked.

"You got hit ...Read More