A humble, obedient Jon Stewart heaps praise upon America's Glorious Leader, Donald J. Trump, and provides an FCC-approved refresher on the rules of free speech in the wake of Jimmy Kimmel's suspension. Plus, the TDS News ...Read More

Jimmy Kimmel returns to the air and talks about all of the people who have reached out over the last six days including fellow late night talk show hosts, fans of the show, and those who don’t support what he believes ...Read More

... continued from above

He passes wind, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases some more wind, and the woman again yells for the dog to get ...Read More

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in a year.

You have a list of fifteen phone numbers to reach your family of three.

Continued below...

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to ...Read More

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I ...Read More